Sex Ed Can Be a Matter of Life and Death

There has been public outcry recently about the new and updated sex education curriculum in Ontario. Leading opposition are the usual suspects--older conservative types along with fundamentalist religious groups including Christians and Muslims.

There are many places to read more about the curriculum itself, as well as the developmental research behind it, so I doubt that this blog message is likely to reach those who are keen to protest, many of whom have made up their minds firmly with or at least as often, without the facts.

Part I: Today We Have the Naming of Parts

But..this is a blog, and someone needs to hold up the stereotype of navel-gazing diatribes, so this time it will be me.

I have heard lawyers and social service workers complain about court cases involving incest, child predators etc. having to be thrown out because the child cannot explain what happened well enough to convict. Knowing what touches are OK and what ones are not, as well as the proper name for body parts at a young age is vital for child safety. We would be embarrassed if a child couldn't name their nose, and only referred to it as that "thing out there", so why would "down there" be in any way acceptable?

Medical professionals also find it helpful when children can be more descriptive as needed, and this can lead to better and quicker diagnoses of digestive problems, bladder and kidney infections, etc.

Part II: Family Relations

There are many kinds of families and children need to understand that families consist of people who live together, support each other and love and care for one another. In our society, families can include extended family, the nuclear family, two or more adults of any gender, or single parent situations. I myself grew up with a grandmother, mother and much younger uncle as my immediate family. It was difficult only because other children and adults in my life failed to recognize us as a family. Children need to understand this concept because the world contains these arrangements and they are a part of the world. An understanding of the concept of family can help a child as they grow up to feel secure and to eventually create a family of their own.

They also need to understand that people who care for each other have strong feelings, and these can be difficult to deal with, but that within the bond of family, disagreements and arguments can be resolved in a healthy way.

Students also need to learn about what constitutes a healthy relationship, how to be a caring partner, and how to get help if needed. More on this will be covered below under "consent".

Part III: Diversity and Acceptance

When I began teaching many moons ago, "tolerance" was the buzzword when it came to diversity. Along with that came "political correctness". It is with great pleasure that I see these concepts dying out to be replaced with much kinder and healthier concepts of "acceptance" and "understanding".

Tolerance is pretty meaningless as all it means is that you allow someone else their differences without raising a stink about it. We can do better. By striving to listen and understand one another, we can celebrate our similarities, understand and appreciate our differences, and remain free to be true to ourselves. Is there a better lesson we can share with our students? I think not.

Within this area, comes the whole topic of identities: gender identities, and sexual identities. People protest the inclusion of such education on religious grounds, but the reality is that there is room within these religions for acceptance and understanding. Often, religion is used as a crutch to disguise fear, discomfort, and in many cases, outright bigotry.

After WWII, many Germans who had been indoctrinated by Nazi ideology underwent re-education so that they could unlearn the hateful attitudes of that regime. In some ways, we need to do the same thing to protect many of our children. Bigotry and bullying is much more pronounced against LGBTQ students than the general public. In fact, the suicide rates for these populations can range from 3-4 times higher than in the general population, depending upon your sources. Depression, missed school, physical assault and abuse--all of these are much higher for the LGBTQ population than the general population.

Teaching students about these issues can save lives.

Part IV: Everyday Health, Safety, and Consent

When people of my generation hear the words "sex education", we immediately think of STD's and family planning. Those topics are again, very important. Despite many advances in treatment, HIV has not been cured, nor has AIDS. There are many other STD's that can also have long term and even deadly consequences if left untreated.

Breast and testicular self-examination can reveal cancerous growths early on and potentially save lives, as can regular medical checkups. Being familiar and comfortable with your body can also help students understand their sexual preferences and to improve their body image.

Pregnancy and childbirth are generally safe in the western world, but there is still a mortality rate for each, and a moral question of family planning that is important to address with students whose bodies are becoming capable for such things. Students need to understand how to protect themselves and how to plan and space a family, if desired, as desired.

Along with this topic comes the issue of consent. With 50 Shades of Grey, the prevalence of easy-access porn on the Internet, and an overwhelming rise in the amount and degree of violence depicted in the media, this is again, crucial for all young people. We do live in a society in which many embrace a "rape culture". Women are objectified, men are expected to "perform" and "take control" and the concept of consent can be blurred.

Particularly chilling are some of the incidents that have happened over the past few years including filming & distributing on the Internet images and videos of non-consensual nature, some of which have led to suicide and/or murder. We also have the unaddressed issue of thousands of missing and murdered indigenous women in our country.

This is serious stuff.

It is vital that students understand that their bodies are their own, that their clothing does not "ask for" a particular kind of treatment, and that a "no" or equivalent (I'm not sure, slow down, whoa, being unconscious, etc.) all mean it stops immediately regardless of any "agreement" spoken or unspoken beforehand. No one owes anyone else sexual favours, for any reason whatsoever. Including marriage. Including "contracts". Including getting drunk and passing out at a party. And so on. It's the law, and they have a right to know about it.

So, before protesting the loss of innocence of children in learning about their bodies and how they function, their rights, and how our society works, take a moment to consider what the consequences of them NOT learning this can be.

Education, Philosophy and Religion--an Opinionated Post!

If you have been reading this blog, you will know by now that I am a strongly opinionated person, especially when it comes to the environment and education.


I feel strongly that one of the major goals of education, and parenting for that matter, is to raise children to do their own thinking. This means that they need to be taught how to research, to evaluate information, to detect potential biases based on the sources of the information (including parental biases, which we often talk about), and to draw their own, considered conclusions. It also means being open to reviewing those conclusions when new information becomes available.

Because of this, I am one of "those" people who strongly advocate against the recitation of prayers, pledges, etc. in schools. There is a great power in the spoken word, particularly when children are taught to memorize things (prayers, pledges of allegiance, etc.) before they are able to fully comprehend the meaning and ramifications of those words. Who are we to make such presumptions about the beliefs and values of our children, to force our own upon them without allowing them to participate actively in the discussion? Surely such an attitude undermines what education should be!

I am not against teaching religions in the classroom, but I am strongly against teaching religion. The difference here is in the presumption. If we teach that Christians believe x, Buddhists believe y, Hindi believe z, Atheists believe a, Muslims believe b, Zoroastrians believe c, Wiccans believe d, Jews believe e, etc. and attempt to explore the various interpretations of each, then it is educational. When we favour one over the other in our teaching, it becomes manipulative indoctrination. Presenting it such as, I am Buddhist, and I believe y and this is why and this is how it affects my life--this is transparency and this is educational. Presenting it as "but we all know...", "God says / wants" or even, "they believe" is manipulative. It is important to let students learn, reflect, evaluate, decide and revisit their own beliefs. Are the adults "in charge" really so afraid that their own beliefs and values will not hold up to scrutiny that they must exert this control on the next generation? Life is not worth a lot if you must live in constant fear of losing your convictions.

What prompted this was a recent trip to the library to research mythology. I noticed that in creation mythology there were myths from many groups, and they even included evolution as a myth, but good ole Adam and Eve were nowhere to be found. So I looked a little further. Although there were myths from some major religions, there was a conspicuous lacking. Other resources didn't mention evolution as a myth, but they were careful to skirt around modern religions as well. Are the Cosmic Egg, Turtle Island, or the Big Bang any more likely to be story than Adam and Eve? Can we not learn something of value from each of these perspectives?
It does not seem to me to be disrespectful to view Judaic stories as myths (at least not any more than Nordic, Greek or North American Aboriginal stories). According to the New Testament, Jesus taught with parables. A parable is a story; can we not call it a myth? Does the point made become weaker with the label? I would think it might even add some strength. I don't think that the majority of Christians and Jews see the bible as something to be taken completely literally, but perhaps I am making too many assumptions.
There are those who see "other" religions (esp. Islam and Wicca at the moment) as "evil" and "wrong", and a few who like to spread misconceptions about these. Some even call Harry Potter a handbook for Wicca, which is like calling "The Night Before Christmas" a handbook for Christianity IMO. Some aspects may be similar, but Harry Potter has as much to do with Christianity as it does with any religion. I suspect these reactions are born of fear of losing faith in their own beliefs as well as fear of those who are different than themselves.

So we live in a world where Adam and Eve are to be taken as "non-myth", evolution is no longer a theory but a "modern myth", the "Big Bang" is a "scientific myth" and children are not permitted to question the wisdom of their elders in order to learn more. Scientists are to be mistrusted, politicians know best, and the media never lies. Thankfully, there are pockets of reason to be found in which critical thought and discussion is still valued and encouraged.