The Case for Teaching Sex Ed to a Mixed Group

Sex education is one of those topics that really tends to divide people. Many people, myself included, have strong feelings about what, when and how it should be taught. In some circles, the word "if" might even appear on that list.

As a society, we can see the discomfort with the topic through the many euphemisms we use for sex ed. (and sex in general, but that list would be longer than anyone might care to read!)-- from "human growth and development" to "family life", and everything in between. Sometimes these cause confusion, like the time I was in elementary school and I heard we were going to study "family life". I thought it would be about things like road trips and camping vacations.

The sad truth is, society has some big hangups when it comes to discussing sex and sex education, and students are all too aware of this.

Whatever our religious, cultural and political leanings, most Canadians can agree that it is a good idea to give kids some sort of "heads-up" about changes coming in puberty and how these affect human reproduction.

The old-school way was to separate out the boys and girls and give them the information they needed in a lecture followed by a question and answer session. Sometimes there would be a question box for students who were uncomfortable asking in person. The rationale was that students were more comfortable talking about these things with students of their own gender, and that they each needed different information.

And herein lies the problem.

This practice makes some assumptions that can hurt students.

First of all, I will argue that it is very important and relevant for students to understand the changes that everyone goes through in adolescence, not just themselves. By learning about others. students are much more likely to develop empathy with others. They are better equipped to understand other family members, friends and partners, and to become better parents as they have a greater understanding of the human reproduction portions of sex education.

Second of all, dividing the class in this way displays an assumption of the gender binary, and also of adherence to assigned gender for any trans or non-binary students who might not yet be "out". The intention of creating a safe environment to ask questions and share information does quite the opposite for such students. This can also be devastating for students who are questioning their gender identity.

If we are serious about creating safe, caring and inclusive schools that celebrate diversity and welcome everyone, we need to rethink the way we have traditionally gone about teaching sex education in particular, but also in all of the ways in which we assume gender binary by dividing students into boy and girl teams, lines in the hall, and so on from kindergarten or even earlier. In an era in which the topic of gender is as divisive as ever, we need to take care in our choices with the newest generation.

So how do we encourage students to ask questions and seek clarification?

Some things we can do to help create a safe environment for everyone:

- encourage students to share their feelings about sex and sex ed. with the group, allowing for students to contribute anonymously
- collaborate with the group to set up a list of behaviour expectations for group discussion
- encourage all students to ask questions, and make an effort to answer all the questions as accurately as possible (allow yourself time to consult with health professionals as needed)

Some ways to allow for anonymity:

- distribute 1-2 cards or sticky notes per student and instruct them to write their questions on these; students without questions can write "hello" or similar instead; collect all notes so that no one student stands out as having had a question
- have a question box students can add their questions to anonymously
- set up a Google Form with a short-answer option and turn off the "show email" option