There has been public outcry recently about the new and updated sex education curriculum in Ontario. Leading opposition are the usual suspects--older conservative types along with fundamentalist religious groups including Christians and Muslims.
There are many places to read more about the curriculum itself, as well as the developmental research behind it, so I doubt that this blog message is likely to reach those who are keen to protest, many of whom have made up their minds firmly with or at least as often, without the facts.
Part I: Today We Have the Naming of Parts
But..this is a blog, and someone needs to hold up the stereotype of navel-gazing diatribes, so this time it will be me.
I have heard lawyers and social service workers complain about court cases involving incest, child predators etc. having to be thrown out because the child cannot explain what happened well enough to convict. Knowing what touches are OK and what ones are not, as well as the proper name for body parts at a young age is vital for child safety. We would be embarrassed if a child couldn't name their nose, and only referred to it as that "thing out there", so why would "down there" be in any way acceptable?
Medical professionals also find it helpful when children can be more descriptive as needed, and this can lead to better and quicker diagnoses of digestive problems, bladder and kidney infections, etc.
Part II: Family Relations
There are many kinds of families and children need to understand that families consist of people who live together, support each other and love and care for one another. In our society, families can include extended family, the nuclear family, two or more adults of any gender, or single parent situations. I myself grew up with a grandmother, mother and much younger uncle as my immediate family. It was difficult only because other children and adults in my life failed to recognize us as a family. Children need to understand this concept because the world contains these arrangements and they are a part of the world. An understanding of the concept of family can help a child as they grow up to feel secure and to eventually create a family of their own.
They also need to understand that people who care for each other have strong feelings, and these can be difficult to deal with, but that within the bond of family, disagreements and arguments can be resolved in a healthy way.
Students also need to learn about what constitutes a healthy relationship, how to be a caring partner, and how to get help if needed. More on this will be covered below under "consent".
Part III: Diversity and Acceptance
When I began teaching many moons ago, "tolerance" was the buzzword when it came to diversity. Along with that came "political correctness". It is with great pleasure that I see these concepts dying out to be replaced with much kinder and healthier concepts of "acceptance" and "understanding".
Tolerance is pretty meaningless as all it means is that you allow someone else their differences without raising a stink about it. We can do better. By striving to listen and understand one another, we can celebrate our similarities, understand and appreciate our differences, and remain free to be true to ourselves. Is there a better lesson we can share with our students? I think not.
Within this area, comes the whole topic of identities: gender identities, and sexual identities. People protest the inclusion of such education on religious grounds, but the reality is that there is room within these religions for acceptance and understanding. Often, religion is used as a crutch to disguise fear, discomfort, and in many cases, outright bigotry.
After WWII, many Germans who had been indoctrinated by Nazi ideology underwent re-education so that they could unlearn the hateful attitudes of that regime. In some ways, we need to do the same thing to protect many of our children. Bigotry and bullying is much more pronounced against LGBTQ students than the general public. In fact, the suicide rates for these populations can range from 3-4 times higher than in the general population, depending upon your sources. Depression, missed school, physical assault and abuse--all of these are much higher for the LGBTQ population than the general population.
Teaching students about these issues can save lives.
Part IV: Everyday Health, Safety, and Consent
When people of my generation hear the words "sex education", we immediately think of STD's and family planning. Those topics are again, very important. Despite many advances in treatment, HIV has not been cured, nor has AIDS. There are many other STD's that can also have long term and even deadly consequences if left untreated.
Breast and testicular self-examination can reveal cancerous growths early on and potentially save lives, as can regular medical checkups. Being familiar and comfortable with your body can also help students understand their sexual preferences and to improve their body image.
Pregnancy and childbirth are generally safe in the western world, but there is still a mortality rate for each, and a moral question of family planning that is important to address with students whose bodies are becoming capable for such things. Students need to understand how to protect themselves and how to plan and space a family, if desired, as desired.
Along with this topic comes the issue of consent. With 50 Shades of Grey, the prevalence of easy-access porn on the Internet, and an overwhelming rise in the amount and degree of violence depicted in the media, this is again, crucial for all young people. We do live in a society in which many embrace a "rape culture". Women are objectified, men are expected to "perform" and "take control" and the concept of consent can be blurred.
Particularly chilling are some of the incidents that have happened over the past few years including filming & distributing on the Internet images and videos of non-consensual nature, some of which have led to suicide and/or murder. We also have the unaddressed issue of thousands of missing and murdered indigenous women in our country.
This is serious stuff.
It is vital that students understand that their bodies are their own, that their clothing does not "ask for" a particular kind of treatment, and that a "no" or equivalent (I'm not sure, slow down, whoa, being unconscious, etc.) all mean it stops immediately regardless of any "agreement" spoken or unspoken beforehand. No one owes anyone else sexual favours, for any reason whatsoever. Including marriage. Including "contracts". Including getting drunk and passing out at a party. And so on. It's the law, and they have a right to know about it.
So, before protesting the loss of innocence of children in learning about their bodies and how they function, their rights, and how our society works, take a moment to consider what the consequences of them NOT learning this can be.
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