We recently paddled on the French River. It took many years for us to get there--other places called loudly to us, and the motorboats and cottagers tend to cramp our style. But there is a certain history there, and after our travels in eastern Canada, and especially Montreal and Ottawa, it only made sense to take the kids on the French River where the voyageurs once travelled.
Although we went during the week, it was still mid August, so I expected crowds. Luckily I was wrong. We did see several other groups each day, but the rugged nature of the area dominated. The landscape was as if Temagami, Georgian Bay and Algonquin Park all got together and had a party. The wind was favourable, and we even let the kids paddle us around our island campsite out on Georgian Bay. We saw a water snake, a giant muskie, many frogs, several turkey vultures, golden eagles, terns, and cormorants, just missed a bear and saw lots of evidence of elk.
The kids had fun exploring the geology of each site and along the shore as we travelled. Some of the stunted trees by the bay looked similar to the tuckamore we saw in Newfoundland.
Although there is much history, between the Voyageurs, the Couriers de Bois, logging camps, the Group of Seven, fishing lodges, cottages and kids' camps, as well as various man made dams that came and went over the years, the area was still very rugged and natural, and I had the impression that nature was dominant. Within the history that echoed throughout the glacier-scraped landscape, human activity was a mere punctuation mark.
As we crossed Wanapitei Bay at the end of our trip on Saturday, more and more motorboats began to clog the waterways, and I could tell that we had timed our trip well.
Tuesday, 31 August 2010
Sunday, 29 August 2010
The Importance of Personal Integrity
Integrity is something I value highly.
In a world full of media messages and standardized tests, where screen time dominates and routines and structure are the rule, how many of us forget to take the time to reflect on our own personal paths through life, to evaluate our choices and actions against our own personal values? How many of us can still hear our own personal beat amidst the hubbub of messages and frenzied activity around us? How many of us have lost our own sense of self in the rush for more, for better, for faster, for easier, for the need to fit in at any cost?
This sort of personal alienation is something we can control.
Can you teach someone personal integrity?
I had an excellent history and "man in society" (I'm dating myself here!) teacher who had each of his students write out their own personal credo. A credo is a creed, which according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary means:
"1: a brief authoritative formula of religious belief
2: a set of fundamental beliefs; also : a guiding principle"
In this case, I refer to the second definition listed.
My grandmother used to tell me to always "remember who I am". My fifth grade teacher told us to keep our good names (reputations). But it was the act of actually writing a credo that brought the idea home for me.
Since my eldest child is headed into the "big, bad world" of institutional education, I thought it would be a good time to have him start thinking about his own personal credo. I have told him that showing it to me is optional; it will be himself he has to answer to when his values are challenged.
This is all sounding rather preachy, but what it all boils down to, for me, is this: at the end of my life, when I look back on my choices and actions, it is myself that I will need to answer to; only I will truly know if I have lived a good and full life, and it is my own value system that will be my measuring stick. True satisfaction and accomplishment comes from following my inner compass, although my path and yours may be quite different.
My credo has served me well over the years.
So I am passing this tool on to my son, with the hope that it will help guide him the way it has helped me. Perhaps you will also find it useful.
In a world full of media messages and standardized tests, where screen time dominates and routines and structure are the rule, how many of us forget to take the time to reflect on our own personal paths through life, to evaluate our choices and actions against our own personal values? How many of us can still hear our own personal beat amidst the hubbub of messages and frenzied activity around us? How many of us have lost our own sense of self in the rush for more, for better, for faster, for easier, for the need to fit in at any cost?
This sort of personal alienation is something we can control.
Can you teach someone personal integrity?
I had an excellent history and "man in society" (I'm dating myself here!) teacher who had each of his students write out their own personal credo. A credo is a creed, which according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary means:
"1: a brief authoritative formula of religious belief
2: a set of fundamental beliefs; also : a guiding principle"
In this case, I refer to the second definition listed.
My grandmother used to tell me to always "remember who I am". My fifth grade teacher told us to keep our good names (reputations). But it was the act of actually writing a credo that brought the idea home for me.
Since my eldest child is headed into the "big, bad world" of institutional education, I thought it would be a good time to have him start thinking about his own personal credo. I have told him that showing it to me is optional; it will be himself he has to answer to when his values are challenged.
This is all sounding rather preachy, but what it all boils down to, for me, is this: at the end of my life, when I look back on my choices and actions, it is myself that I will need to answer to; only I will truly know if I have lived a good and full life, and it is my own value system that will be my measuring stick. True satisfaction and accomplishment comes from following my inner compass, although my path and yours may be quite different.
My credo has served me well over the years.
So I am passing this tool on to my son, with the hope that it will help guide him the way it has helped me. Perhaps you will also find it useful.
Friday, 13 August 2010
Back (or not back) to School
It's that time of year again, when notebooks full of empty pages bursting with endless possibilities crowd the aisles of department stores and supermarkets. When the summer has soothed our kids, sunburned, mosquito-bitten and well rested in ways only kids can truly know. When the paddle and glassy lake call louder than ever. It is the middle of August.
If you are free from the confines of school and office during the coming weeks, you may wish to take advantage of warm water and less crowds and do a little paddling and/or camping of your own. See here for some tips and tricks, recipes, etc. to help you on your way.
If school is your child's destiny, then you may find some lunch inspiration here.
For school supplies, you don't have to be (as) wasteful anymore. You can find recycled paper products at mainstream locations including Zellers and Staples, as well as pencils made from recycled wood, binders with recycled covers, recycled notebooks, and pencil crayons made from recycled wood. I can recommend the recycled pencils which don't break easily and sharpen well as we have been using them for a year now. Watch out for greenwashing too though! Be sure to check the amount of post-consumer content in recycled materials, which tells you how much has been reclaimed after use.
One more note to parents (and teacher too, who should definitely know this!): recent (and some not-so-recent) studies have shown that students do not benefit academically from homework and in some cases can burn out from "too much work, not enough play". Be especially wary of worksheets, numerous fill-the-blank activities and sheets of math problems (especially all of the same type). Once your child firmly grasps a concept and can complete a few problems, there is no benefit to be had from such repetition. Occasional finishing of project work would be fine, but this should be an exception rather than the rule.
If you find your child has homework each night, this should be a cause for concern, and should be taken up with the teacher immediately. Kids in primary grades (grades 1-3, or 5-8 years of age) and younger have no need for any homework at all. Learning and development at these ages especially needs to come from the child's own experiences in free play. There is much learning that comes from unstructured children's play and this is an essential part of child development.
If you would like to read more about this, including the actual studies, refer to Alfie Kohn's website.
If you are free from the confines of school and office during the coming weeks, you may wish to take advantage of warm water and less crowds and do a little paddling and/or camping of your own. See here for some tips and tricks, recipes, etc. to help you on your way.
If school is your child's destiny, then you may find some lunch inspiration here.
For school supplies, you don't have to be (as) wasteful anymore. You can find recycled paper products at mainstream locations including Zellers and Staples, as well as pencils made from recycled wood, binders with recycled covers, recycled notebooks, and pencil crayons made from recycled wood. I can recommend the recycled pencils which don't break easily and sharpen well as we have been using them for a year now. Watch out for greenwashing too though! Be sure to check the amount of post-consumer content in recycled materials, which tells you how much has been reclaimed after use.
One more note to parents (and teacher too, who should definitely know this!): recent (and some not-so-recent) studies have shown that students do not benefit academically from homework and in some cases can burn out from "too much work, not enough play". Be especially wary of worksheets, numerous fill-the-blank activities and sheets of math problems (especially all of the same type). Once your child firmly grasps a concept and can complete a few problems, there is no benefit to be had from such repetition. Occasional finishing of project work would be fine, but this should be an exception rather than the rule.
If you find your child has homework each night, this should be a cause for concern, and should be taken up with the teacher immediately. Kids in primary grades (grades 1-3, or 5-8 years of age) and younger have no need for any homework at all. Learning and development at these ages especially needs to come from the child's own experiences in free play. There is much learning that comes from unstructured children's play and this is an essential part of child development.
If you would like to read more about this, including the actual studies, refer to Alfie Kohn's website.
Saturday, 7 August 2010
The Case for Summer Vacation
While stuck in a supermarket lineup recently, I noticed the cover of Time Magazine which featured an article about how summer vacation was bad for kids as they tend to "lose" their year's learning. This article is my own personal response.
The Case For Summer Vacation
First of all, I would like to examine some of the assumptions the article blurb seems to make:
1. School/academic learning is superior to other experiences and kinds of learning
2. Children need to achieve academic success in a predictable, steady manner
3. Summer vacation time is wasted time
4. Children do not need time to "recharge their batteries"
5. Unstructured play is not a valuable and necessary component to child development
6. That politicians, parents and other influential adults know better what kids need to learn
7. That children should be subjected to political and corporate agendas to an even greater degree
8. That homework, busy work, form-filling, following rules without question and having the right answers are what we want to call "learning"
I could go on and list all sorts of studies that contradict the essence of these assumptions, but I will spare us all that agony. If you are interested, you are welcome to do your own research.
Think about this: how many parents are concerned about the serious learning deficits of our children regarding the natural world? Surely a lack of familiarity with the local flora and fauna all around us should be a huge concern for all of us. Some elementary kids cannot even identify 10 different local native species--flora or fauna, or (perhaps more importantly) explain on a very basic level how their local ecosystem works. They do not get outdoors, experience fresh air and sunshine, play freely with other children without adult intervention, or explore the natural world. These lessons cannot be replaced by standardized classroom "learning".
As it is, we tend to jail our children in institutions at a young age, force them to learn/memorize/regurgitate curriculum that is determined more by politics and convenience than by valid research, and deny them their own personal creativity and joy for learning. We create a one-sized-fits-all assembly line system of "education" that is easily measured, but only serves to create a zombie-like population at best. We compare them to others based on narrow scales of standardized tests and consider them to be "behind" or whatever label is in vogue if they do not completely conform to the "average" that is expected. We hold back the creative, the bright, the imaginative and we marginalize those who might do better. We presume abilities and are quick to pidgeon-hole students in an attempt to make them conform to our standardized expectations. We bore the bright and we bore the challenged.
I've heard parents whose children attend school groan about summer (or winter, March break, etc.) vacation because they don't know how to "keep their kids busy". They are afraid of letting their kids experience boredom. "Keeping them busy keeps them out of trouble" is the popular mantra of the day. This isn't strictly true--some kids will make trouble despite where their carpool takes them. It does restrict their freedom, all in the name of lazy parenting.
Some might find that offensive, but working hard to spend money so your child's world can be completely structured is much less work and takes much less emotional and psychic energy than becoming a role model, mentor and guide to help your children develop their own set of values and ethics. And when they turn 18, we let those who haven't had that opportunity loose on society, having not had the chance to mature properly. Or they realize that they aren't ready to make their own decisions, having had little or no opportunity to develop such life skills, so they live with mom and dad a little longer, or go to university or college where they take courses paid for by the parents, chosen by the parents, in dorms where their meals are prepared and their bedding changed for them, coming home on weekends so mom (or dad, but let's not kids ourselves too much here!) can wash their laundry.
We keep our kids from flying when we constantly clip their wings.
I would argue that kids need time to take charge of themselves and their time, to learn how to structure (or not structure) their own time, to amuse themselves, to test out their own interests, creativity, and values. They need freedom in order to grow. This freedom includes the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them, to try out their own ideas, find out who they are and what brings them joy. Kids need freedom in order to learn how to think for themselves and develop good judgement. We need to remove our own magnet from their moral compasses and let them learn to find their way. We need to guide them and support them without smothering or controlling them. We need to respect their individuality so they can become their own people. These are not likely to happen easily for the child who spends 5-6 hours in school, several hours in daycare/extra curricular programs, weekends in further structured environments, and now summers full of either structure, or the other parental pitfall, video games and other "screen time".
When kids are always told what to do, when to do it, what to think and how to rate themselves against others on a numerical scale, when the media is welcomed into the home to take the place of personal interaction--when these things become the mainstream norm, as they certainly are now, this is the time to push back and work to reclaim the rights of our children.
They deserve better--we all do.
I will leave you with some very interesting related links
Valedictory address by Erica Goldson
What you really need to know
How finding your passion changes everything
What are your life goals? Maybe you're already there
The Case For Summer Vacation
First of all, I would like to examine some of the assumptions the article blurb seems to make:
1. School/academic learning is superior to other experiences and kinds of learning
2. Children need to achieve academic success in a predictable, steady manner
3. Summer vacation time is wasted time
4. Children do not need time to "recharge their batteries"
5. Unstructured play is not a valuable and necessary component to child development
6. That politicians, parents and other influential adults know better what kids need to learn
7. That children should be subjected to political and corporate agendas to an even greater degree
8. That homework, busy work, form-filling, following rules without question and having the right answers are what we want to call "learning"
I could go on and list all sorts of studies that contradict the essence of these assumptions, but I will spare us all that agony. If you are interested, you are welcome to do your own research.
Think about this: how many parents are concerned about the serious learning deficits of our children regarding the natural world? Surely a lack of familiarity with the local flora and fauna all around us should be a huge concern for all of us. Some elementary kids cannot even identify 10 different local native species--flora or fauna, or (perhaps more importantly) explain on a very basic level how their local ecosystem works. They do not get outdoors, experience fresh air and sunshine, play freely with other children without adult intervention, or explore the natural world. These lessons cannot be replaced by standardized classroom "learning".
As it is, we tend to jail our children in institutions at a young age, force them to learn/memorize/regurgitate curriculum that is determined more by politics and convenience than by valid research, and deny them their own personal creativity and joy for learning. We create a one-sized-fits-all assembly line system of "education" that is easily measured, but only serves to create a zombie-like population at best. We compare them to others based on narrow scales of standardized tests and consider them to be "behind" or whatever label is in vogue if they do not completely conform to the "average" that is expected. We hold back the creative, the bright, the imaginative and we marginalize those who might do better. We presume abilities and are quick to pidgeon-hole students in an attempt to make them conform to our standardized expectations. We bore the bright and we bore the challenged.
I've heard parents whose children attend school groan about summer (or winter, March break, etc.) vacation because they don't know how to "keep their kids busy". They are afraid of letting their kids experience boredom. "Keeping them busy keeps them out of trouble" is the popular mantra of the day. This isn't strictly true--some kids will make trouble despite where their carpool takes them. It does restrict their freedom, all in the name of lazy parenting.
Some might find that offensive, but working hard to spend money so your child's world can be completely structured is much less work and takes much less emotional and psychic energy than becoming a role model, mentor and guide to help your children develop their own set of values and ethics. And when they turn 18, we let those who haven't had that opportunity loose on society, having not had the chance to mature properly. Or they realize that they aren't ready to make their own decisions, having had little or no opportunity to develop such life skills, so they live with mom and dad a little longer, or go to university or college where they take courses paid for by the parents, chosen by the parents, in dorms where their meals are prepared and their bedding changed for them, coming home on weekends so mom (or dad, but let's not kids ourselves too much here!) can wash their laundry.
We keep our kids from flying when we constantly clip their wings.
I would argue that kids need time to take charge of themselves and their time, to learn how to structure (or not structure) their own time, to amuse themselves, to test out their own interests, creativity, and values. They need freedom in order to grow. This freedom includes the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them, to try out their own ideas, find out who they are and what brings them joy. Kids need freedom in order to learn how to think for themselves and develop good judgement. We need to remove our own magnet from their moral compasses and let them learn to find their way. We need to guide them and support them without smothering or controlling them. We need to respect their individuality so they can become their own people. These are not likely to happen easily for the child who spends 5-6 hours in school, several hours in daycare/extra curricular programs, weekends in further structured environments, and now summers full of either structure, or the other parental pitfall, video games and other "screen time".
When kids are always told what to do, when to do it, what to think and how to rate themselves against others on a numerical scale, when the media is welcomed into the home to take the place of personal interaction--when these things become the mainstream norm, as they certainly are now, this is the time to push back and work to reclaim the rights of our children.
They deserve better--we all do.
I will leave you with some very interesting related links
Valedictory address by Erica Goldson
What you really need to know
How finding your passion changes everything
What are your life goals? Maybe you're already there
Monday, 2 August 2010
What do you stand for?
I've been having some important conversations with my eldest son over the past two days.
To summarize, I've been asking him to try and sort out what is most important to him--what values define who he is.
Admittedly, this is pretty tough stuff. Many adults I know would be hard pressed to answer. Yet, when it comes down to it, knowing who you are can help define your actions and reactions and even possibly the path you take in life. It can be a comfort, and provide a sense of constancy when the world around you becomes unpredictable. A strong sense of self can help you ride out whatever life throws at you.
Where did the conversation start?
I was surprised to hear him mention making some choices that, while fairly "mainstream" do not match those ideals I tried to impart on him. Impart on him...those words don't sound so great to a mom who believes that kids need to learn to make their own decisions and develop their own judgement. Yes, I will admit that I took this quite personally, and that I had to work hard to step back and find out more. Did he not agree? Were these ideals not his ideals? Is this a moment in which he is experimenting to find out what his own personal values might be, or has he outright rejected these values for himself? How do I know when to let go and let him act for himself? Where do I draw the line when he's busy figuring out where to draw his own lines? How do I know the difference between the effects of peer pressure and the development of his own personal value system? How does he know the difference?
Then he mentioned trying to hide behaviours (in this case, vegetarianism) that others had ridiculed him for. So we discussed it on two levels--did he want to continue to be a vegetarian himself? And, either way, did the others have a right to judge him for it? Were they seeking more information, or were they behaving hurtfully? Just as others have a right to religious and political freedom, he also has a right to his own personal value system. But in order to know how to respond, he will need to know where he stands--what does he himself believe to be his highest ideals?
It can be tough when one's own value system doesn't follow the mainstream. People often find differences personally threatening. Yet, by learning about the options, world views, background, etc.--the reasons--these encounters can become an opportunity for growth, or at the very least, tolerance and understanding.
Acquiescence in order to avoid conflict, "fit in", or just avoid offending others robs people of these opportunities. And yet, people often respond unfavourably, sometimes threateningly, to anything that is remotely different. Explanations can fall on deaf and stubborn ears. All we can do is remain true to ourselves, but it is important that we do remain true to ourselves! Each time we fail to stand strong (such as repeating "this is true for me" or "this is what I believe" etc.), we lose a little self respect.
So it is important to know what you stand for, and to remind yourself of this often, letting your words and actions reflect your strongly held convictions, while listening to and respecting those of others.
I hope he understands.
To summarize, I've been asking him to try and sort out what is most important to him--what values define who he is.
Admittedly, this is pretty tough stuff. Many adults I know would be hard pressed to answer. Yet, when it comes down to it, knowing who you are can help define your actions and reactions and even possibly the path you take in life. It can be a comfort, and provide a sense of constancy when the world around you becomes unpredictable. A strong sense of self can help you ride out whatever life throws at you.
Where did the conversation start?
I was surprised to hear him mention making some choices that, while fairly "mainstream" do not match those ideals I tried to impart on him. Impart on him...those words don't sound so great to a mom who believes that kids need to learn to make their own decisions and develop their own judgement. Yes, I will admit that I took this quite personally, and that I had to work hard to step back and find out more. Did he not agree? Were these ideals not his ideals? Is this a moment in which he is experimenting to find out what his own personal values might be, or has he outright rejected these values for himself? How do I know when to let go and let him act for himself? Where do I draw the line when he's busy figuring out where to draw his own lines? How do I know the difference between the effects of peer pressure and the development of his own personal value system? How does he know the difference?
Then he mentioned trying to hide behaviours (in this case, vegetarianism) that others had ridiculed him for. So we discussed it on two levels--did he want to continue to be a vegetarian himself? And, either way, did the others have a right to judge him for it? Were they seeking more information, or were they behaving hurtfully? Just as others have a right to religious and political freedom, he also has a right to his own personal value system. But in order to know how to respond, he will need to know where he stands--what does he himself believe to be his highest ideals?
It can be tough when one's own value system doesn't follow the mainstream. People often find differences personally threatening. Yet, by learning about the options, world views, background, etc.--the reasons--these encounters can become an opportunity for growth, or at the very least, tolerance and understanding.
Acquiescence in order to avoid conflict, "fit in", or just avoid offending others robs people of these opportunities. And yet, people often respond unfavourably, sometimes threateningly, to anything that is remotely different. Explanations can fall on deaf and stubborn ears. All we can do is remain true to ourselves, but it is important that we do remain true to ourselves! Each time we fail to stand strong (such as repeating "this is true for me" or "this is what I believe" etc.), we lose a little self respect.
So it is important to know what you stand for, and to remind yourself of this often, letting your words and actions reflect your strongly held convictions, while listening to and respecting those of others.
I hope he understands.
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