The Importance of Personal Integrity

Integrity is something I value highly.

In a world full of media messages and standardized tests, where screen time dominates and routines and structure are the rule, how many of us forget to take the time to reflect on our own personal paths through life, to evaluate our choices and actions against our own personal values? How many of us can still hear our own personal beat amidst the hubbub of messages and frenzied activity around us? How many of us have lost our own sense of self in the rush for more, for better, for faster, for easier, for the need to fit in at any cost?

This sort of personal alienation is something we can control.

Can you teach someone personal integrity?

I had an excellent history and "man in society" (I'm dating myself here!) teacher who had each of his students write out their own personal credo. A credo is a creed, which according to the online Merriam-Webster dictionary means:
"1: a brief authoritative formula of religious belief
2: a set of fundamental beliefs; also : a guiding principle"

In this case, I refer to the second definition listed.

My grandmother used to tell me to always "remember who I am". My fifth grade teacher told us to keep our good names (reputations). But it was the act of actually writing a credo that brought the idea home for me.

Since my eldest child  is headed into the "big, bad world" of institutional education, I thought it would be a good time to have him start thinking about his own personal credo. I have told him that showing it to me is optional; it will be himself he has to answer to when his values are challenged.

This is all sounding rather preachy, but what it all boils down to, for me, is this: at the end of my life, when I look back on my choices and actions, it is myself that I will need to answer to; only I will truly know if I have lived a good and full life, and it is my own value system that will be my measuring stick. True satisfaction and accomplishment comes from following my inner compass, although my path and yours may be quite different.

My credo has served me well over the years.

So I am passing this tool on to my son, with the hope that it will help guide him the way it has helped me. Perhaps you will also find it useful.

Back (or not back) to School

It's that time of year again, when notebooks full of empty pages bursting with endless possibilities crowd the aisles of department stores and supermarkets. When the summer has soothed our kids, sunburned, mosquito-bitten and well rested in ways only kids can truly know. When the paddle and glassy lake call louder than ever. It is the middle of August.

If you are free from the confines of school and office during the coming weeks, you may wish to take advantage of warm water and less crowds and do a little paddling and/or camping of your own. See here for some tips and tricks, recipes, etc. to help you on your way.

If school is your child's destiny, then you may find some lunch inspiration here.

For school supplies, you don't have to be (as) wasteful anymore. You can find recycled paper products at mainstream locations including Zellers and Staples, as well as pencils made from recycled wood, binders with recycled covers, recycled notebooks, and pencil crayons made from recycled wood. I can recommend the recycled pencils which don't break easily and sharpen well as we have been using them for a year now. Watch out for greenwashing too though! Be sure to check the amount of post-consumer content in recycled materials, which tells you how much has been reclaimed after use.

One more note to parents (and teacher too, who should definitely know this!): recent (and some not-so-recent) studies have shown that students do not benefit academically from homework and in some cases can burn out from "too much work, not enough play". Be especially wary of worksheets, numerous fill-the-blank activities and sheets of math problems (especially all of the same type). Once your child firmly grasps a concept and can complete a few problems, there is no benefit to be had from such repetition. Occasional finishing of project work would be fine, but this should be an exception rather than the rule.
If you find your child has homework each night, this should be a cause for concern, and should be taken up with the teacher immediately. Kids in primary grades (grades 1-3, or 5-8 years of age) and younger have no need for any homework at all. Learning and development at these ages especially needs to come from the child's own experiences in free play. There is much learning that comes from unstructured children's play and this is an essential part of child development.

If you would like to read more about this, including the actual studies, refer to Alfie Kohn's website.

The Case for Summer Vacation

While stuck in a supermarket lineup recently, I noticed the cover of Time Magazine which featured an article about how summer vacation was bad for kids as they tend to "lose" their year's learning. This article is my own personal response.

The Case For Summer Vacation

First of all, I would like to examine some of the assumptions the article blurb seems to make:
1. School/academic learning is superior to other experiences and kinds of learning
2. Children need to achieve academic success in a predictable, steady manner
3. Summer vacation time is wasted time
4. Children do not need time to "recharge their batteries"
5. Unstructured play is not a valuable and necessary component to child development
6. That politicians, parents and other influential adults know better what kids need to learn
7. That children should be subjected to political and corporate agendas to an even greater degree
8. That homework, busy work, form-filling, following rules without question and having the right answers are what we want to call "learning"

I could go on and list all sorts of studies that contradict the essence of these assumptions, but I will spare us all that agony. If you are interested, you are welcome to do your own research.

Think about this: how many parents are concerned about the serious learning deficits of our children regarding the natural world? Surely a lack of familiarity with the local flora and fauna all around us should be a huge concern for all of us. Some elementary kids cannot even identify 10 different local native species--flora or fauna, or (perhaps more importantly) explain on a very basic level how their local ecosystem works. They do not get outdoors, experience fresh air and sunshine, play freely with other children without adult intervention, or explore the natural world. These lessons cannot be replaced by standardized classroom "learning".

As it is, we tend to jail our children in institutions at a young age, force them to learn/memorize/regurgitate curriculum that is determined more by politics and convenience than by valid research, and deny them their own personal creativity and joy for learning. We create a one-sized-fits-all assembly line system of "education" that is easily measured, but only serves to create a zombie-like population at best. We compare them to others based on narrow scales of standardized tests and consider them to be "behind" or whatever label is in vogue if they do not completely conform to the "average" that is expected. We hold back the creative, the bright, the imaginative and we marginalize those who might do better. We presume abilities and are quick to pidgeon-hole students in an attempt to make them conform to our standardized expectations. We bore the bright and we bore the challenged.

I've heard parents whose children attend school groan about summer (or winter, March break, etc.) vacation because they don't know how to "keep their kids busy". They are afraid of letting their kids experience boredom. "Keeping them busy keeps them out of trouble" is the popular mantra of the day. This isn't strictly true--some kids will make trouble despite where their carpool takes them. It does restrict their freedom, all in the name of lazy parenting.

Some might find that offensive, but working hard to spend money so your child's world can be completely structured is much less work and takes much less emotional and psychic energy than becoming a role model, mentor and guide to help your children develop their own set of values and ethics. And when they turn 18, we let those who haven't had that opportunity loose on society, having not had the chance to mature properly. Or they realize that they aren't ready to make their own decisions, having had little or no opportunity to develop such life skills, so they live with mom and dad a little longer, or go to university or college where they take courses paid for by the parents, chosen by the parents, in dorms where their meals are prepared and their bedding changed for them, coming home on weekends so mom (or dad, but let's not kids ourselves too much here!) can wash their laundry.

We keep our kids from flying when we constantly clip their wings.

I would argue that kids need time to take charge of themselves and their time, to learn how to structure (or not structure) their own time, to amuse themselves, to test out their own interests, creativity, and values. They need freedom in order to grow. This freedom includes the freedom to make mistakes and learn from them, to try out their own ideas, find out who they are and what brings them joy. Kids need freedom in order to learn how to think for themselves and develop good judgement. We need to remove our own magnet from their moral compasses and let them learn to find their way. We need to guide them and support them without smothering or controlling them. We need to respect their individuality so they can become their own people. These are not likely to happen easily for the child who spends 5-6 hours in school, several hours in daycare/extra curricular programs, weekends in further structured environments, and now summers full of either structure, or the other parental pitfall, video games and other "screen time".

When kids are always told what to do, when to do it, what to think and how to rate themselves against others on a numerical scale, when the media is welcomed into the home to take the place of personal interaction--when these things become the mainstream norm, as they certainly are now, this is the time to push back and work to reclaim the rights of our children.

They deserve better--we all do.

I will leave you with some very interesting related links

Valedictory address by Erica Goldson

What you really need to know

How finding your passion changes everything

What are your life goals? Maybe you're already there

What do you stand for?

I've been having some important conversations with my eldest son over the past two days.
To summarize, I've been asking him to try and sort out what is most important to him--what values define who he is.

Admittedly, this is pretty tough stuff. Many adults I know would be hard pressed to answer. Yet, when it comes down to it, knowing who you are can help define your actions and reactions and even possibly the path you take in life. It can be a comfort, and provide a sense of constancy when the world around you becomes unpredictable. A strong sense of self can help you ride out whatever life throws at you.

Where did the conversation start?

I was surprised to hear him mention making some choices that, while fairly "mainstream" do not match those ideals I tried to impart on him. Impart on him...those words don't sound so great to a mom who believes that kids need to learn to make their own decisions and develop their own judgement. Yes, I will admit that I took this quite personally, and that I had to work hard to step back and find out more. Did he not agree? Were these ideals not his ideals? Is this a moment in which he is experimenting to find out what his own personal values might be, or has he outright rejected these values for himself? How do I know when to let go and let him act for himself? Where do I draw the line when he's busy figuring out where to draw his own lines? How do I know the difference between the effects of peer pressure and the development of his own personal value system? How does he know the difference?

Then he mentioned trying to hide behaviours (in this case, vegetarianism) that others had ridiculed him for. So we discussed it on two levels--did he want to continue to be a vegetarian himself? And, either way, did the others have a right to judge him for it? Were they seeking more information, or were they behaving hurtfully? Just as others have a right to religious and political freedom, he also has a right to his own personal value system. But in order to know how to respond, he will need to know where he stands--what does he himself believe to be his highest ideals?

It can be tough when one's own value system doesn't follow the mainstream. People often find differences personally threatening. Yet, by learning about the options, world views, background, etc.--the reasons--these encounters can become an opportunity for growth, or at the very least, tolerance and understanding.

Acquiescence in order to avoid conflict, "fit in", or just avoid offending others robs people of these opportunities. And yet, people often respond unfavourably, sometimes threateningly, to anything that is remotely different. Explanations can fall on deaf and stubborn ears. All we can do is remain true to ourselves, but it is important that we do remain true to ourselves! Each time we fail to stand strong (such as repeating "this is true for me" or "this is what I believe" etc.), we lose a little self respect.

So it is important to know what you stand for, and to remind yourself of this often, letting your words and actions reflect your strongly held convictions, while listening to and respecting those of others.

I hope he understands.

Canoe Tripping Styles

The family canoe is in the shop getting a new set of well-earned gunwhales, thwarts, fabric and paint. In the meantime, I have recently been reading about a cross-continent canoe trip the Shepardsons made with their two young children back in the early 80's.

In reading this, it has become clearer to me that there are some very different ways to approach canoe tripping!

On our trips we travel in a much more luxurious fashion than they did. We carry a serious water filter (Katadyn Combi), a single-burner camp stove, and ALL of our food. We decide which sleeping pads to bring not whether to bring any at all. We carry internal frame packs, not Duluth packs (I've never even tried using a tump line!). We generally carry 2 or maximum 3 sets of clothing each, plus extra socks and underwear, all packed in drybags, and rain gear. We have not yet done a trip in which we stop along the way for supplies, nor do we hunt or fish. Our focus is different. So are both the length and intensity of our trips.

They're much more traditional in their approach, more like modern-day Voyageurs than vacationers. We are much more casual. Both are valuable, but very different sorts of activities!

The places we go tend to be overstressed by human activity as it is--we do our best not to add to the problem any more than the long drive up and our travel along the portage paths.
I know many see fishing as a crucial part of canoe tripping, but we have had no need. Perhaps if we were in a more remote area and in emergency conditions we would fish. Some lakes near us are artificially stocked for weekend anglers. We've found fishing line left draped over bushes, and some still use lead weights which further pollute the waterways. I do not wish to contribute to this practice. Instead, to keep the packs manageable, we grow and buy local produce and dehydrate it ourselves.

There is a can and bottle ban in Algonquin Park, where we first started our canoe tripping adventures. This has shaped our food planning by forcing us to repackage items, and in doing so, reduce our weight and bulk for portaging. It also helped us on our way to learning to pack well for backpacking trips. We hang all our food before bed each night, and whenever we leave any behind on our site while exploring. Nuisance bears are common in the well-travelled places we paddle, but I wonder if our precautions don't serve more to entice them than dissuade them. Still, we have been fortunate to have avoided theft by bear when camping, and the family canoe still has indents where a bear rolled the canoe to get at food packs underneath during one of my father in law's trips. Raccoons and red squirrels on the other hand can climb well and are appreciative when you hang "their portion" in the relative safety overhead. Red squirrels (and chipmunks) thank you by chattering and clucking and dropping well-aimed cones and twigs where you are working.

I now make up bannock mix in pre-measured baggies (just add water and oil) and we cook this on sticks over the fire, usually on the last night. I also measure out portions of dried hummus in baggies (add water, seal bag, knead with hands then cut off corner of the bottom of the bag to squeeze it out). More camping food ideas can be found here.
Yes, the baggies are an environmental blemish on our trips. I'm working on it. We no longer double-bag items, and reuse resealable packaging when we can. It's not perfect, and suggestions are welcome!

If we are travelling more remotely (or more likely, off season in normally well-travelled places that are now deserted), we carry a camp saw rather than an axe. It's much lighter to carry, and we generally use smaller sticks of wood (rather than logs) anyhow. But carrying a camp stove reduces our need for wood. Wood is our backup plan, and we do plan one fire/trip to appease the kids who love to practice their pyromania. The eldest can start a fire from a single ember left by previous campers, and has done so several times now. It's a little alarming to see how quickly it can grow, all from an inadequately extinguished fire, and usually just from material within arm's reach of the fire pit!

Many times people who canoe trip are focused on their distance, esp. distance travelled each day. We are slow movers, slow paddlers, and very slow portagers. This used to bother me, but once we had kids, I learned to accept and embrace that. On trips marked for 4 days, it is not unusual for us to take 5 or even 6. But for us, the trips are vacations, so relaxation is an essential element. The kids need time to build dams and waterways, follow insects, float sap-powered leaf boats, etc.

As the kids are getting older though, I see that the relaxation is becoming a little more like laziness. Last year in the Barron Canyon the kids gave us a little peek as to what they are capable of, and I'm going to be hard pressed to keep up this year! It's amazing to me how strong and efficient they've become. They can set up and strike down camp themselves in minutes. They carry appreciable loads now on portages, and when they paddle, the boat gains considerable speed. They are truly comfortable with nature, which I'm sad to say is a rare phenomenon with kids these days.

We have never run any whitewater with the kids. Our own skills are a bit lacking in this area, and we've only really dealt with class I or II in the past, so this is probably a wise decision. Having said that, I believe it is time for us all to take a clinic then practice the skills. There are rivers calling, and the kids are old enough to appreciate safety and still young enough not to have lost their nerve yet. They can cheer on their over-cautious parents!


I absolutely love the Lady Evelyn River (the site of our honeymoon), and hope to return soon. Aside from the "interesting" portages on the south channel, I think we would be able to manage it later one season (once we've done a more laid-back lily-dipping lake trip to warm us up). For the south portages, it will just be grin and bear it, and try not to fall on the steep scree slopes. Luckily, the kids are part mountain goat. Here's hoping that recent reports about the increasing traffic and degradation of sites are overstated.

Am I ready to canoe across the country? Nope. While many areas call to me, I know that I'm (way) too soft for huge expeditions like that. 2 weeks seems like a more attainable and enjoyable goal for us.

There are some rivers--the Nahanni, the Tatshenshini, and several in Quebec that sound pretty interesting. Our skills and fitness levels aren't up to those yet, but perhaps it's time to set a goal!