The Great Christmas Search

Every year the same thing happens at our house. My older son makes his Christmas list, and the top item is inevitably something that a) doesn't exist b) is not available in this country, or often, not even on the continent c) exists but won't be sold for several years as it's still in development d) no longer is sold in stores and is either not available on Ebay etc., or has gone out of our financial reach due to its rarity e) never existed, but he wishes it did.
In past years, it has been elusive model train parts, books that are out of print, videos or music selections that are no longer recorded, discontinued Playmobil pieces (the outlet store in Mississauga eventually helped with that one!), and a spare dedicated camera battery that took us seven weeks to find. Other families have trouble finding stock of popular items, but our problem is usually the opposite!

My younger son used to ask for "interesting" things too--like the year he wanted a Beluga whale--not a "zoo adoption", not a toy, but the actual real thing. Thankfully, his desires have become a little easier to appease over the years!

The item of interest this year is actually more of something we already own. This should be easy, right? Nope. The plain painted dominoes that are perfect for building domino runs are no longer made by Melissa and Doug. When we emailed them, they directed us to their numbered domino set. This is a completely different item. Ebay doesn't have any now either.

My sons spend hours building complicated domino runs. Sometimes the runs are part of a larger Rube Goldberg machine (see here for more on Rube Goldberg machines), and sometimes they stand alone. For the past four (five?) years, they have been the most played with item in our house, even beating out house favourites such as Crazy Forts, Snap Circuits, Lego and K'nex. I love how such a simple toy can lead to so much creativity.

I originally purchased them on a whim at Winners. They were likely being discontinued at the time. I know others use dominoes like this, but aside from an incredibly expensive version made in Germany, I have been unable to find a source.

They are simple wooden blocks that should be easy to cut, sand and paint ourselves, right? Except they use hardwood that is a little more challenging to work, and the exact uniform size of the pieces is critical. Some of the transition pieces are pretty complex as well, at least, they are for unskilled carpenters such as my husband and I. Making some will be our last resort.

I have to admit though that I have actually come to enjoy the treasure hunt associated with these requests. I suspect this is something that I will miss in a few years, so despite the stress associated with it all, I am determined to enjoy it.

Taking Time to Read

Last weekend we took the kids to the Ontario Science Centre. Like every other time we've visited, there was the inevitable run-in I've come to dread.

This time it was a father and his son who looked to be about five years old. We were at a table with a ramp. There were two discs on the table. One was a solid wood disc and the other was a metal disc with a hollow centre. They had the same circumference, and for those of us who could be bothered to read the large sign, they had the same mass.

The idea was to send them down the ramp together to see which moved faster, and try and figure out why that was. There was an explanation at the bottom of the sign as well.

This man, like so many other parents and kids I've seen there, just guessed what it was about (wrongly) and told his son it was because the metal was heavier. I actually interrupted this time and told them that according to the sign the discs had the same mass. He just said "is that so?" in a rather rude and incredulous tone and continued pulling his son through the exhibit hall.

Maybe he had a reason for his behaviour. Perhaps he was illiterate and really could not read the sign. But surely the majority of the visitors are able to read. So why don't they?

Is it really a wonder so many people blindly accept pseudo-science when they can't even be bothered to read two sentences on a sign? Why do people even bother going there if they aren't willing to take the time to actually look and experience what is on offer? (Are these the same people who get all of their news via television?) And yet, sadly, many people do just that.

Was this man's son not worth the effort to get the facts right? Was the dad just putting in time until the outing was over? Will the son remember the trip, and if so, what will he have gotten out of being rushed from display to display without ever really getting a chance to check any of it out himself?

I have the same gripe when I send out emails. There are people (admittedly not nearly as many) who insist on only reading the first line or sentence in an email. Even when I start out with an opening such as: "I have two questions for you:" certain people will just jump ahead with the first, sometimes not even reading that one thoroughly enough to answer what I've actually asked.

The problem isn't limited to rushed parents either. When my youngest went to junior kindergarten (very briefly!), the teacher would hold up a "big book", and instead of reading it aloud to the kids, she'd play the book tape and turn the pages. When parents and teachers don't bother to read with their kids, should we be surprised when those kids themselves fail to see the value and joy of reading?

Maybe it's just a symptom of a larger problem. We're always rushed--with increasing demands on our time, and advertising everywhere we look that promises quick and convenient solutions, many of us have lost the art of living in the moment. We continually look ahead, but have difficulty clearing our minds enough to concentrate on the immediate.

Today is voting day. I always hope people will read the candidates' platforms thoroughly before casting their vote, but as I grow older, I wonder: since many don't/won't bother to read, perhaps election signs with names alone are sadly just as effective. We've been trained to respond to quick, flashy images to become voracious unquestioning consumers, and it shows.

Great Green Halloween Tips

I love this time of year--the fall colours and crunchy leaves underfoot, comfort food from our backyard harvest, the early evening family read-alouds, the dramatic fall skies, the absence of mosquitoes on long forest walks, and especially Halloween!

Halloween has gotten a bad name due to the greed/candy obsession that has replaced the old traditions of apples, pears and baked goods, and a friendly visit with the neighbours. I'm talking here only of Halloween, not "Devil's Night" on the 30th--that's a different subject!

While the rumours of razor blades in apples are just an urban myth, many adults still won't let their kids eat fruit collected from strangers. Peanuts are also likely to cause parents grief as more and more kids are diagnosed with peanut allergies.

It was especially sad when kids were getting mugged for their Unicef boxes and Unicef changed their program. Now there are other community initiatives in place though. Some groups in our community put up signs on mailboxes a week ahead telling people that instead of collecting candy, they will be collecting unperishable items for the local food drive. Not many people are willing to mug someone for a box of KD, at least not in a country as fortunate as ours!

Halloween is one of many big marketing opportunities for the box stores, but we don't have to run out and buy cheap single-wear costumes made thousands of kilometers away. Nor do we have to purchase tons of plastic-wrapped corn-syrup and sugar laden "treats" in order to do the holiday justice.

For costumes, you can search your closet for a truly creative and unique costume. Some great closet costume ideas can be found here. If this doesn't work, consider borrowing costume components from a friend or relative, or purchase items from a local thrift shop.

For handouts, people often try and replace all that candy with plastic toys. While the following suggestions might not be absolutely perfect, they are an improvement on Tootsie Rolls TM and chips.

•  if you have saved the plastic eggs from Easter (we don't buy them, but always seem to end up with lots anyhow!) you can use those as containers for homemade playdough, slime or silly putty (recipes can be found here). You can also use zip-lock baggies if you must. Be sure to label these so they aren't accidentally eaten, or thrown out because they were an unknown product.
• you can design and print your own bookmarks (to be greener, print them on recycled card stock); add a yarn tassle to the top to make it fancy
• small, fair-trade chocolate bars instead of larger amounts of lesser quality candy
• small bottles of soap bubbles
• a flower bulb (tulip, daffodil, etc.) along with planting instructions
• print out some Madlibs, word puzzles, etc., roll them up and tie off with a ribbon (you have my permission to reprint and distribute these as long as you leave the website url line on the bottom of each)
• pencils (not quite as popular or original as some of the above, but my kids still like getting them!)
• a talented balloon sculptor on our street used to make balloons to order for all the neighbourhood trick or treaters--and she used the kind that quickly biodegrade
• Annikin publishes tiny paper picture books that can be purchased in bulk and includes many of their more popular titles--you can promote early literacy while giving out treats!
• super-bounce balls, while still pretty much in the realm of  "junk toys" still tend to see much more use than the other "junk toys" found in loot bags etc.
• tennis balls and skipping ropes are also more likely to see long-term use than plastic toys

Alternatives to avoid:

• toothbrushes are not likely to make you very popular with the kids, and attaching ads/business cards to goodies is just plain tacky
• artificial sweeteners are unhealthy at best and are particularly risky for children--sugar is actually a much safer option
• avoid anything that has partially hydrogenated oil (some chocolate and most chewy taffies), hydrogenated oil, BHA or BHT (most chewing gum) as these are particularly unhealthy bordering on dangerous to consume

Please add your own suggestions to the comments, or email them to me and I'll post them here and give you credit. There has to be a better way than all the waste that usually happens at Halloween!

This year we are setting up a driveway "Mad Science Lab" with dry ice, lots of mystery flasks etc. and a mix-your own slime (the silly putty recipe at the link above) station. I'm wearing one of my mom's old lab coats that I've made some "explosion burn holes" in. I'll be teasing all my hair up and back, and donning safety glasses. With the safety glasses on, I'm sprinkling some black tempera paint powder on my face so that when I take off the glasses it leaves their silhouette on my face. a pocket protector, pens, test tubes, calculator etc. finishes the outfit. Halloween lab sound effects (bubbling potion, explosions etc.) will add to the effect. Total purchase price: free, as I already owned all the components.

For dry ice tips, tricks and very cool experiments (bad pun intended), click here.

Happy Haunting!

Discipline with Humour and Song

If you're like me, you really don't enjoy nagging at your kids for the same old things day in and day out. I've tried many different ways to "be heard" above the natural parental tune-out children seem to gain at an early age. One trick that seems to work, not only to get a point across, but also to lift everyone's mood is using humour, and the most effective mode of delivery is through music.

Ok, well, perhaps calling it music is stretching things a bit. I have not been blessed by either a beautiful voice or a musical ear, so my efforts are less than tuneful even when I'm trying for "serious". But that's the beauty of this: out of tune is even better! What I do is choose a random song, then invent appropriate lyrics to that tune to fit the situation. My kids often roll their eyes, but they have also been known to take over when they've had enough of my own inventions. When still in their preschool years, they invented the "leaving" song:

"Get your coats and boots on,
and get into the car
Get your coats and boots on,
and get into the car

We are late
so don't delay
and put your coat on

We are late
so don't delay
and put your boots on

Put your coats and boots on
and get into the car!"

Bad rhymes, words that don't fit the song rhythm--that's all a part of the fun. And even with all their moaning and complaints, it nearly always brings smiles and diffuses what ever situation is brewing, at least somewhat, when mom belts out a "tune".

Lately, I've found that singing "You Light up My Life" by Linda Ronstadt is very effective, especially when the kids get pouty or jealous. Who can stand that one off key and still stay pouty?! And I don't even have to change the words!

I do wonder though, if that might be pushing things a little too far. Can singing be considered a form of child abuse? It does lighten things up a bit, but will there be long-term psychological scarring? Or will it become a cherished memory, of the times, however few, when I lightened things up and shared with them the gift of humour?

The Purpose of Education

Is the purpose of education solely to enable us to become wealthy?

It would seem that as a society, we have bought into this idea and have forgotten many other valid and valuable reasons for education. Students increasingly flock towards subjects that they perceive will result in the highest paying jobs, regardless of their personal interests. In the U.S., bright students are more likely to enrol in business programs than in the sciences. I don't know what the statistics are here in Canada, but I do know that many have a greater respect for an MBA than a PhD.

Not all of us are meant to be cut-throat business people, and thank goodness for that. Surely, the idea of following your interests and passions in choosing your career path is something we should all consider. Yes, we all need to make a living, but since when did "making a living" turn into just making money? Once our basic needs are met, which is more likely to make us happy--more "stuff"? A bigger investment portfolio? Or working on something we believe in and enjoy? What will bring us the greatest enjoyment and personal fulfillment? What can we do with our lives so that when we look back at the end of our lives we can say with conviction, "I have no regrets, I lived and loved well"?

In the end, the only real currency is time, and it is our choice how we spend it. Best to use it well!