Toddlerhood can be a time of great joy and discovery, but it can also be a time of great frustration for both the toddler and the parents. Even the most mild-mannered child is likely to have a tantrum (or a dozen) during these years. There are ways you can help channel that frustrated energy into something more manageable for all.
Working with playdough or clay can help. Hitting and pounding the dough or clay is acceptable in ways that hitting siblings or pets simply is not. The muscular work of kneading the dough or clay triggers the brain to release healing endorphins. As the frustrations are taken out on the dough or clay, the child can begin to relax and either forget the situation that caused the strong feelings, or calmly work through it. And sometimes (though not always), they may end up with a work of art in the end.
BTW, this also works well for adults!
Also, there may be times when the child simply throws the clay or dough. If you have a "thrower", try having some soft balls (or rolled-up socks, etc.) around and provide a place where the child can fling away. Comment of the force of their throws in a positive way--"Wow, did you see how far that one went?!"
A few more tips:
- respect the child's feelings; do not become condescending or make fun of them in any way, and keep others from doing so as well; this just leads them further into anger, frustration and feelings of powerlessness
- comment on how strong their feelings seem to you "You seem very angry/frustrated/scared etc. to me" "Wow, you are very angry!" etc. Labeling and acknowledging the emotions can help the child understand them better and learn to cope better with them
- keep everyone safe, including the child who is experiencing the strong emotions
- once the child has calmed down, take the time to talk through what happened with them and help them come up with solutions that can help them in similar situations in the future
- try and keep your cool, and maintain your sense of humour (but never at the expense of the child's feelings)
- remember that this is a temporary stage in every child's development and will soon pass
Homemade playdough recipe here
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